How are you really doing, Dave?

The question on everyone’s mind, “How are you really doing, Dave?”  I still have cancer and I hate that I have to fight for my life. I hate that my insurance that I pay a lot of money for won’t cover any of my treatment.  I hate that I have to beg my friends and relatives to support me.  I hate that my wife and kids may have to face life without me.  I hate that I have to pass on promotional opportunities when I know we can use the extra money that it would bring. I hate what my illness is doing to my Dad and siblings, especially after losing my mom and brother within the last three years.  I hate that I can’t enjoy the foods I once loved and probably never will again.  I hate that my future is now so unsure and completely out of my own hands. Yep, these things are all so very true.

The right question to ask me is,” how has having cancer changed you, Dave?”  I’m glad you asked, let me tell you. First of all, I have begun to realize in a most profound way, that I have never been in charge of what happens in my life.  I have never been God and never will be. I know now more than ever that we are meant to cherish every day we’ve been given and breathe it in and taste it. I love that I have learned to do this more than ever now.

I often think of the time when my Grandma Celia died and we all met at her house after the funeral several years ago now.  She had seventeen children; as you can imagine, my family is enormous.  I love being from such a big family.  As the family had gathered, I walked around and took in the sights and smells.  The conversations were beautiful, the laughter was beautiful, and the foods prepared by family members were fantastic. I continued to walk through the house and remember the days I spent there as a child. I remember my Grandma Celia whistling hymns and her bird whistling exactly like her.  I remembered the meals she prepared for me and many others throughout the years. I walked through every room of that small house that was an oasis to everyone that had the privilege of staying there. Her memories and love were everywhere.  I breathed it all in and tasted it.  I now have the privilege of living every day like that; not because I’m afraid I may lose my life, but because  I realize I’ve been given the privilege to do so.  Just a few short months ago, I was sure I wasn’t going to be around much longer, but here I am.  If I take a little more time to get somewhere it may be because I’ve taken the time to taste life all around me.  I love what this experience is doing inside me.  I don’t think I can say I’m glad I have cancer, but I know I’ve been given the honor to live my life to the glory of God and grow in His love and mercy. I feel as though I’m just beginning to understand who Jesus really is through my daily sessions in the scriptures.  It’s true, I don’t know what my future holds, but I know who holds the future and it certainly isn’t me.

Now you ask, “How is your body doing?”.  I’m glad you asked.  As many of you may or not know, I had a stent replacement about three weeks ago.  What was going to be routine turned out to be difficult and took nearly two hours instead of 15-20 minutes.  It took my body over a week and a half to recover from it.  I was completely off my supplements for about two weeks while my body recovered from the trauma.  I lost another 10lbs during this time too.  Somehow I managed to continue working during this time. After some rest and much prayer my system has started working again.  I also had a follow up MRI, an office visit with the oncologist and a phone consult with my Dr. in NYC.  They were all pleased with where I am with my health. The oncologist was amazed at how good I looked and felt.  The tumor has not grown and all other functions are normal or near normal.  Praise God!  My Dr. in NYC says we’re right on track and still feels I’m a great candidate for this therapy.

My plans are to continue in my treatment and to continue to raise funds by selling T-shirts and hoodies and any other means I can. We’re getting closer to the time where we’ll need to make plans for our next trip to NYC again. If you’ve been blessed with extra, please consider investing in me. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to asking for your help, but here I am.  Thank you again for all your prayers and support over the last several months. It’s an investment I know you’ll never regret.

Much love and respect,

Dave