Wednesday, September 28, 2016

Just What We Need

September 25,2016

Well, here I am again!

It’s Sunday afternoon and I’ve had a blessed and full weekend.   I’m on day four of my five day detox cycle.  This one makes me very irritable and I’d like to apologize to all of you that have had to live with or work with me these last few days.   I’m taking a bulking agent that targets my large and small intestines.  I think I can say I know what it’s like for women on their monthly cycle.  I will forever be more sensitive around females during “that time of the month.”   My hat’s off to you ladies.

Our trip to NYC was a success!  Doctor Isaacs says I am doing great and am on target.  All indicators are neutral or have started to go down.  The cancer cells are mostly inflamed and appear to be larger but are not.  When the supplements target the cancer and begin to break it down, white blood cells rush to the area and it appears to be “worse” before things start looking better.  Actually it’s a good sign that our treatment is working.  The next six months will be critical in attacking this monster.  She upped some of my supplements and added about four or five to my daily intake.  Now I’m taking over 200 supplements a day instead of just under 200.  I know what you’re thinking; when you’re taking that many what’s a few more?”  That’s what I thought too.  Lulu was a bit concerned about the amount of weight I’ve lost, but Doctor Isaacs said that my weight loss was normal for anyone who is eating exactly what their body needs.  In fact, she said, I could lose ten to twenty more pounds and still be just fine.  Not sure, but I think Doctor Isaacs might have been calling me fat! Lol

I continue to feel great most of the time.  I do have my moments and I try to rest more on days that my body is telling me I need it.  Work can be very stressful, but I really try to leave it at work and not take it home with me.  After my encouraging meeting with Doctor Isaacs I have much more resolve to give this treatment all I have and more.  Thank you all so much for believing in me; loving me and my family with your gifts and prayers.  God always comes through just in the nick of time.  When we arrived home we weren’t sure how we were going to make a much needed supplements order, but God used some new and beautiful friends to bless us with just enough to complete our order.  He’s amazing and I love how you are able to be blessed by giving to us in our need.  I am well aware for most of you, to give is a step of faith.  I also know that it’s in those moments when it doesn’t make sense on paper to give and you do it out of obedience, that your biggest blessings come.  I look forward to hearing how you were blessed by your giving to us in our need.  God is faithful and always cares for His own.  He’s worthy of all praise!

Our trip to the Big Apple this time was a variety of new experiences.  We stayed in an apartment instead of a hotel.  We used public transportation instead of taxis most of the time.  We didn’t eat in any restaurants; we shopped at the local market and ate in.  We walked to Whole Foods and ate from their buffet.  We used Uber and ended up being late to the airport and missed our flight home.  We flew back on standby all the way home; never sat together, but met several new people!  We did all this in the attempt to save some money; some things we’ll do again and some not so much.  Our splurge this time was a carriage ride through Central Park.  It started out beautiful with little sprinkles of rain and ended up in a torrential downpour.   We made the best of it and quickly realized we could have been walking in the rain; instead we were semi dry in a covered carriage.  NYC is a true melting pot of color, sights and smells.  I love the city but can only take it a few days at a time.  I loved taking the subway and being among people that live there day in and day out.  I look forward to our next trip in March.

We arrived home very tired Thursday night and then had the eighty year old newlyweds at our door early afternoon on Friday; (the wedding Lulu attended in Michigan the Saturday before heading to NYC.)  It was wonderful having them stay with us until Tuesday.  I love the wisdom and life lived stories people of that age have.  I want to be them someday.  God is good and we were blessed to have them in our home.  Auntie Easter and Freeman we love you both. Thank you for blessing us with your presence.  They were heading to Reno next then to Los Angeles and on to San Diego before driving; stopping along the way back to Michigan where they live.  Keep them both in your prayers for good health, stamina and safely.  They are truly eighty years young and not old! 

What is going on in my head these days? So glad you asked; let me tell you.  I’ve been praying for quite some time for a home group to connect with during this difficult time and God has answered.  We were privileged to attend a startup group last night and are both very excited to see how it will shape up.  Love the hosts and everyone that attended.  All but one couple is new to us including the hosts.  They are all from our church.  Some of them we sit next to every Sunday and didn’t even know each other before last night.  The group is quite diverse in age, back grounds and life experiences.  I love it!  Looking forward to what God will do with this group. 

I’m in a good place right now and continue to go through the Bible daily with The Daily Audio Bible.  This has anchored me and keeps my attention focused on God and His goodness.  I love that it is a worldwide community of people.  Check it out if you can; https://dailyaudiobible.com/ .  You will be blessed.   I am amazed daily at the greatness of God’s love toward me and my family even in the smallest of things.  The last several years leading up to my cancer diagnosis were very hard and extremely lean years for us as a family.  I can go into details, but I’ll spare you for now, except only to say, I can see a bit more why God kept us there for so long.  He was preparing us for this tough battle and we needed to be strong to battle this demon of cancer.  When we are weak He is strong and sustains us through it.  Every day is still a battle but I’m a bit more hopeful and am completely convinced that God has directed us to fight this way.  I love who my family is becoming.  I love who I’m becoming and the list goes on and on.   I’m feeling quite hopeful as I draw closer to His goodness during this time.  I’m learning to lay my life down daily in order to gain it back completely transformed into His image.  What a privilege it is to serve the God of all creation who desires to know us intimately.

Please continue to pray for His provision over the next few months as we move forward more aggressively.  Please share my story and needs with friends, post links on Facebook, share my giving page and blog.  Let’s keep it alive by sharing it again.  It would be nice to be able to pay off the medical bills we are making monthly payments on along with having a surplus in our treatment account.  The monthly stress of figuring out how we’re going to make our supplements orders can be and is tough.  Pray for creative ways of fund raising that won’t take a lot of effort by either one of us.  Dealing with keeping me on track on a daily basis is a full time job and doesn’t leave much time to focus on working to raise money, but we’ll do whatever God gives us the grace to do.  Keep us in your daily prayers; pray a hedge of protection around us continually.  The enemy would like nothing better than to destroy the testimony of God in our lives. 

Have a blessed time as we approach the holidays that will soon be here.  Not looking forward to winter; I’m always cold these days, let alone when the weather gets colder. 

Love you all,

Dave

Saturday, September 3, 2016

I Choose To Honor And Love You

September 3, 2016

Hello everyone,

It’s been a while since my last post, but here I am!  Got through my latest stent replacement, MRI, oncologist visit and phone consult with my doctor in NYC; all while continuing to work full time.  I’d say that’s a good thing for someone who is in the biggest battle of his life!  Yep, I press on with renewed resolve to live a healthier cancer free life.  I’m also at the tail end of my five day cycle of detox.  This one always kicks my butt.  The fifth day is not a fun one, but tomorrow is a brand new day!

 My sister Joanne tells me my dad is looking and doing much better.  I can’t imagine what he feels like but my prayer for him is for God’s healing power to sustain and cover him.  I also pray that Dad allows Jesus to be his closest friend and that he will emerge as a new and refined vessel of honor for God.   Please continue to lift him up in your daily prayers.

September fourteenth is just around the corner now.  This is the day I meet with Dr. Isaacs in NYC.  As I said before, we purchased our airline tickets and booked our first Airbnb accommodations.  I’m a bit apprehensive about staying in a stranger’s home, but it was much more cost effective this way.  Also, Lulu has the opportunity to fly ahead of me to attend her eighty year old aunt’s wedding in Michigan.  This aunt is like a second mother to her.  She asked Lulu to come out for the wedding.  I’m so happy she’s going. I’m sure a break from me and being able to be with her family will be good for her.  She has not seen her relatives for many years, some since our wedding twenty three years ago.  Of course, this will make getting me ready to be gone for a couple of days really challenging.  But I’m grateful she has this opportunity.  She’ll meet me in NYC on Tuesday and we’ll fly home together Thursday.  Our kid’s will be on their own for a few days.  They’re both over eighteen and I’m sure they will be fine. 

We’re getting ready to place an order for more supplements on Monday; had to wait to order this time.  We didn’t quite have the funds to make a full order.   Also, we received a bill from the hospital for nearly a thousand dollars.  It’s the deductible we’re required to pay and then the insurance will pay the rest for this next year.  This is for the stent replacement, MRI and oncologist visit.  We also have a balance for last year that we’re making monthly payments on.  I just wanted everyone to know some of the other areas of need we have.  Please continue to lift us up in your prayers. Please consider giving as you’re able and want to invest in a great cause; me!  Either way I have always believed and continue to believe that where God leads He will provide. I want to also say thank you to everyone that has given lately.  It's what has sustained us over the last few weeks and I'm so grateful.

I also want to talk about my state of mind.  The last few weeks have been rough for me.  The reality of having cancer is a tough one to bear.  I’ve been going through the why me’s and I can’t believe this is happening to me's.  I battle feeling sorry for myself too.  I’ve been thinking about what life would be like around here without me.  I have seen death all around me recently also several people I know or know of have lost their battles with cancer.  I sometimes think "what makes me any different?  What makes me think I deserve to be here when several around me are now gone?  They were great God fearing people.   Why would God heal me when He didn’t them?  What makes me special?"  This all brings fear to my heart and I sometimes buckle under it.  I think about the enormous costs of choosing alternative treatment and having to beg my friends and family for money constantly.   I also feel the need to always be positive because people have given to my cause expecting me to be well.  I can’t let them down.  I haven’t made adequate provisions for my family; what will happen to them if I die?  The list goes on and on. 

I spend a lot of time wrestling with these thoughts recently.  I also have days where I rise above it all and truly believe I’m going to win this battle and be the biggest witness of God’s healing mercy.  I’m in the Bible daily and listen to music that lifts my heart.  I pray for everyone that I know that needs prayer.   I’m constantly reevaluating my life and trying to draw closer to God.  I’m also resolved to know Him like I’ve never known Him before.  How can I ever be the same after this? I can’t.  It’s impossible to experience what I’m experiencing and not be changed.  I want to touch the heart of God.  After all, I was created for His glory and He delights in me.  I know one thing for sure; I’m being refined like gold and the only way to refine gold is through the fire.  This is how gold is purified. The more times in the fire the more pure the gold is. 

I listen to the daily audio bible every day. Lulu and I have been listening daily for several years now.  We just finished the book of Job.  This book is always challenging for me.  I have always found it hard to believe that a good God would allow a good man to experience such heart ache and pain.  God knew Job so well and He knew his heart.  God also restored everything that Job lost and more.  Job lived a prosperous long life after all his suffering.  God also revealed Himself to Job and Job saw God and understood Him like never before.  Job was a righteous man to begin with, but after going through the fire Job saw God in a completely different light.  God was so much more than Job ever imagined He was.   Job repented for who he thought God was because he understood and saw Him with refined eyes now.  God revealed Himself to Job.  What a gift!

I want this fire in my life to change my love and understanding of God too.  Lord reveal yourself to me.  This is my prayer.  Help me to trust you in the midst of this storm.  I choose to honor and love you.

Dave

Life Scripture:

"In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps."
Proverbs 16:9